Personal tools

Sections

You are here: Home → Human & Environmental Relations → What are Domination and Partnership Relations? → Shifting Our Relations from Domination to Partnership

Shifting Our Relations from Domination to Partnership

Discover a new way of looking at who you now are and break free of limiting assumptions and stressful habits.

Before Newton identified gravity, apples fell off trees all the time but people had no name or explanation for what was happening. The partnership and domination systems not only give us names for different ways of relating but also an explanation for what lies behind these differences.

While the terms domination relationships and partnership relationships, may not be familiar to you, you’ve probably already noticed the difference between these two ways of relating – but lacked names for your insight. When we lack language for an insight, it’s hard to hold on to it much less use it.

Watch the hour-long episode of Global Spirit’s Oneness: The Big Picture featuring a conversation with Riane Eisler and Deepak Chopra from which this brief segment was excerpted.

In the domination system, somebody has to be on top and somebody has to be on the bottom. People learn, starting in early childhood, to obey orders without question. They learn to carry a harsh voice in their heads telling them they’re no good, they don’t deserve love, they need to be punished. Families and societies are based on control that is explicitly or implicitly backed up by guilt, fear, and force. The world is divided into in-groups and out-groups, with those who are different seen as enemies to be conquered or destroyed.

In contrast, the partnership system supports mutually respectful and caring relations. Because there is no need to maintain rigid rankings of control, there is also no built-in need for abuse and violence. Partnership relations free our innate capacity to feel joy, to play. They enable us to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This is true for individuals, families, and whole societies. Conflict is an opportunity to learn and to be creative, and power is exercised in ways that empower rather than disempower others.

Here’s an example. Do you remember how the father treated his children in the movie The Sound of Music? When Baron von Trapp (Christopher Plummer) blows his police whistle and his children line up in front of him, stiff as boards, you see the domination model in action. When the new nanny (Julie Andrews) comes into the picture and the children relax, enjoy themselves, and learn to trust themselves and each other, you see the partnership model in action. When von Trapp becomes much happier and closer to his children, you see what happens as we begin to shift from domination to partnership.

The last three hundred years have produced a strong movement toward partnership. One tradition of domination after another has been challenged -- from despotic kings to male dominance to economic oppression to child abuse. However, there has been fierce resistance and periodic regressions -- and we still have a long way to go.

Going back to the old "normal" is not an option. Each one of us can contribute to the partnership movement. We can change by example, education and advocacy. We can shift our relations from domination to partnership -- starting with our day-to-day relations all the way to how we relate to our mother earth. To understand more about partnership relations: